mum's the word

after leaving hong kong (cœur blessé), a sobered ondrej flew to shanghai to meet his maker. mum and i teamed up for a three week power-tour of china's finest.

i'll try and put more pictures in this entry, and let them do the talking. it's fascinating to see china again for the first time through mum's eyes and realise just how many things i've come to view as completely ordinary - how many things i'd stopped seeing. who would have thought two years ago that my mind would neutralise deep throat spitting, yelling at the top of your voice to the person standing next to you (even pondered the irony in the name of the children's game 'chinese whispers'?) or public toilet floors so covered in piss and shit that you actually have to skate in and out?

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mum had a great taste of the real china on our first day when we stumbled upon the back exit of a chinese tea garden in the shanghai old town. surrounding us, a chinese tour group made up exclusively of old, red-hatted, blue-jacketed, five-foot-nothing village women decided they couldn't be bothered going around the front of the tea house to pay entry, and linked hands to charge through the exit, the guard, and half a dozen other people blocking their way. i rode the wave of oldies through the gates, but mum got caught in a rip and was tossed to the side. one foot wrong in that crowd and you'd be quite literally trampled under mao-slipper.

.from shanghai we popped into a water town ('when you see its beautiful canals and ancient buildings, how can you not but fall into a reverie?' asked one advertisement), before heading to hangzhou to check out the legendary west lake..

. .there are 36 'west lakes' in china, but hangzhou's is the one from which all the others got their name - the original. originality in china?! (i hear you cry in disbelief) nay! well, it's true. a 3km x 3km body of water filled with man-made islands, surrounded by drooping weeping willows on a backdrop of pagoda-topped mountains. despite the hype, the lake was stunning, strolling its shores and islands really was peaceful (i couldn't help but fall into a reverie) and even the surrounding tourist shopping precincts were (and i never thought i'd say this of china): tasteful. at night a series of water jets on the east bank squirted water in arcs over coloured lights to the rhythm of some unknown 80's western music. sounds trashy? wasn't a dry eye in the house.
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.mum and i hauled our ever-fatter arses up to suzhou to bliss out in the UNESCO world heritage listed gardens (reverie) and sample various types of transport and food (in that order). some of the gardens date back more than 1000 years, and make amazing use of light and space, which i've been unable to adequately capture in my photos. mum and i were positively transported to another level.
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and so ended the first leg of mum + bondy's tour de chine. tune in next time to find out why being shot in your sleep is better than an 18-hour train ride across central china. until then: zai jian.
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pics 1 - mum and i on the bund across from the oriental pearl tower in the must-have nothing shot.
2 - a drop of character
3 - relaxing in the park
4 - mum takes a break in (5) a shanghai garden
6 + 7 - zhouzhuang the water town. beware the reverie.
8 - some of the gardens surrounding west lake

9 - what i'm going to look like if i don't curb these obsessive eating habits.
10 - china's version of pisa - the leaning pagoda at tiger hill, suzhou
11 - simple - just join the line and buy a ticket.
12, 15, 16, 17 - gardens in suzhou
13 - ondrej sitting in the 'with whom shall i sit pavilion'.
14 - loved the sign

just as bad as the rest of them

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the conte de fée continues as ondrej leapfrogs his way to thailand via hong kong and back again for a well deserved 5 day holiday from his holiday. centre stage is the evil french frog protagonist gerard who plays with the innocent boy's heart, and also involved is the princess sarah, who comes to bask in the sun and share in the fun.

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after a night in bangkok, the trio made their way to koh samet, a small beach-paradise in the gulf of siam, several hundred kilometres south east of the sprawling metropolis.

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surely the pinnacle of human invention is the motorbike. what else combines function with so much fun? along the potholed, sandy and rocky roads of koh samet, i made a new discovery: why drive responsibly, when you can drive irresponsibly? shall we assume lotus position again? there's no other word for it people: i hooned. you know those annoying western tourists who burn around foreign countries on motos at top speed with those revolting self-satisfied 'i'm all that' expressions on their faces? well that was me baby: all the way.

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we snorkeled, we swan, we hooned around on the motos, we lay on the beach drinking coconut milk, we oggled passers-by: we enjoyed. pad thai, banana pancakes and slurpees made up 90% of our diet. at one stage gerard and i stumbled onto what i can only imagine was a gay beach, replete with groups of thai boys draped in rainbow flags limp-wristedly jumping for joy in the sand infront of their camera-clicking comrades. i felt like i was in an allan hollinghurst novel. we swam out to a floating platform populated exlusively by gorgeous young males for some diving practice. every time i pulled myself up onto the boards, wet bathers clinging, it was a case of 'those aren't my eyes'. it was all very well and good, but before i knew it there was an unfortunate incident involving myself and three young thai boys with a penchant for wrestling, and i became quite permanently damaged.

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there's something about thai society that is just better. perhaps it's the high level of inter-personal acceptance and mutual respect that sets it above the rest. nothing symbolises that better than the wai (palms held together infront of the head as a greeting). let's introduce it into australian society and see what happens. the wai, nightly dancing in the public spaces with the local grannies, mandatory cuddling on sunday afternoons, and unlimited supplies of white rabbit milk lollies. could there be a more comprehensive recipe for happiness? i've got it all worked out people: ondrej for president.

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i'm back in hong kong for a few days before i meet up with mum in shanghai this weekend. can't wait. my life is being pushed and pulled in directions i wouldn't have thought possible only a fortnight ago. opportunities masquerading as magic doors are opening all the time, none closing, for me the question at the centre of all this confusion is: could this really be what life is like?

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wow. (with a french accent).

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pics

1 - dinner on the beach

2 - catch a boat to this little restaurant

3 - requisite coconut sucking shot

4 - hello moto

5 + 6 - chaisse-longues and a few ugly dogs on the beach

7 - protection from the bangkok monsoon :)

all my love and thoughts with sarah and carolyn.