.outback australia? conquered.
they say: the journey of 1000 miles begins with a first step. at 2127 miles (3422km in english), the journey from brisbane to darwin through the aussie outback is significantly longer, and is certainly not for the faint-hearted. adam and i felt equal to the challenge.
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. so, after packing my life story into adam and being fed a king's breakfast on stephen's balcony, it was time to reinterpret the ancient proverb through modern eyes. i found:
the journey of 2127 miles begins by breaking down on the highway 5 minutes out of brisbane.
18 hours later, adam sporting a new radiator cap, we recommenced our epic journey. here are a few roadside photos of the outback:
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.on the first night (in mervin) the sun set at 17:34. the following day (in winton) it set at 18:02. two days later, in elliot on the stuart highway in the northern territory, there was a further 46 minute delay.
i visualised an enormous spinning sphere in space, and an immeasurably distant light source. i pondered angle and shadow. i saw adam and i, irrelevant specks on the surface of the spinning sphere racing across the planet so far as to make a noticeable difference! and it was only then that i began to understand the cosmic significance of our journey. i felt like a greek warrior returning home from troy, in full battle gear, only to check his sundial and have something click in his mind (e=mc2 or whatever) and cry eureka! i was going to assume lotus position and use my figures to estimate the circumference of the earth at the tropic of capricorn, but got too distracted by thoughts of greek warriors in full battle gear.
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.adam blew out a tyre on the second day. i changed it and got the spare replaced, and because luck favours the prepared, bought an extra tyre and just chucked it in the back seat.
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.as fate would have it, adam blew out another one of his tiny tyres in the middle of nowhere. i found a roadhouse (the only one for 465 km!) and paid an elderly alcoholic to refit the tyre. for much of the process he could only use one shaky hand, and had to get a friend to help him. his other hand appeared fully functional, but his simply refused to put down his cigarette! 20 minutes later, with all of our hands bleeding, adam and i set off once again.
now the last place i could have got a tyre was mt isa, and it deserves some mention. we all know you're not a real man until you've climbed the great wall - chairman mao has been most informative on that point - but what does it take to become a real australian? i discovered the answer on a sign outside the isa.
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.now that i'm a real man and a real australian, i can't help but wonder: what's left? how can i aspire to be anything when i've already reached the summit of human existence? i would never have thought it before i went to either of these locations, but these are the metaphysical questions you're left to struggle with in the middle of the night once you've been to the great wall of china and to mt isa and you've become a real man and a real australian.
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.just after dawn on the 4th day of travel, we crossed the border from queensland, my former home state, to the northern territory, my new home pseudo-state. it was there that i first saw one of these:
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with adam champing at the bit to push the limits (the machismo of that little car!) i tenderly pressed his little pedal until we were thundering down the matilda highway at a cruising speed of 145km/h! nothing screams inappropriate louder than an overloaded daihatsu mira going that speed down a remote highway, so it was only a matter of time before we had the aforementioned tyre-loss incident in the middle of nowhere.
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.adam and i were making really good time, so between the 5th and 7th days, i simply camped out in nitmiluk national park - a real paradise. days consisted of hiking through katherine gorge and swimming in deep fresh water streams, and evenings consisted of lying on the grass in my t-shirt and shorts (in the middle of winter!) watching the stars come out. it doesn't get any fresher than that.
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i thought of all the places i've been in asia in the last 6 months, and the everpresent crowds of people. such density of humans in asia and europe! i contrasted this with a week of driving through an empty landscape, just adam and i, and the remote and raw beauty of the land. i felt lucky to be australian.
i'm glad to be back. for now.
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TRIP STATISTICS
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distance travelled: 3422 km
time zone change: 30 minutes
time taken: 7 days
gay cowboys encountered: 1
peacocks seen in elliot: 62
average pieces of roadkill in the 100km stretch after barcardine: 15.3/km
tyres lost: 2
average number of times i said g'day: 8/day
litres of water drunk: 14L
chocolate bars consumed: 25
number of locations with vodafone mobile reception between brisbane and darwin: 3
number of times i opened the bonnet to look at the engine after hearing something weird or smelling something funny despite knowing i wouldn't recognise a problem if i saw one and certainly wouldn't be able to do anything about it if i did: ~12
cost of accommodation: ~$200
cost of petrol: ~$350
conquering the australian outback on an epic 7 day journey with your best non-human friend in the whole world: priceless
