.on my last day in darwin, a friend of mine gave me a passage to read, in which a chinese proverb was quoted: keep a green tree in your heart, and maybe one day a singing bird will come.
i have travelled around for a couple of years now, and it has been terribly, terribly interesting. despite all of the change and the challenges, i find that there is always something within me that remains solid. that solidity is my sense of self, my green tree. with each new experience, my green tree grows and grows, and there are many singing birds within. i have found that nothing can diminish this green tree - only enhance it - and that excites me. there is nothing so exciting as being alive, and the process of becoming who we are at every moment of every day.
the devil's marbles. a long time ago the devil came to this sacred place and, like me, was attacked by hordes of flies that turned the sky black and didn't respond to swatting. the poor guy lost his fucking marbles.i very much enjoy being alone - in fact i crave it. the solo journey is a perfect opportunity to reflect on the events and circumstances of your life, and assess their significance. to understand yourself in the context of your own universe. during my drive from darwin to melbourne, i climbed to the very top of my green tree, sat on one of the strongest branches, and gazed down at everything that i had been and everything that i was, and everything that i am in the process of becoming. it is only through reflection that i can glimpse my answer to what i believe is the central question of our existence: what do we actually want? once we have stripped away any preconceptions and the shackles of other people's expectations, what is left that we alone truly desire?
.my goal in life is to live according to my deepest desires and passions. to live according to the expectations of myself alone. to live because what i am doing feels good and right and true to me - to live selfishly.
sweating so much there was a crust of salt either side of the seatbeltto live a life according to the real or perceived desires of a book, a religion, an authority or another person is to not live at all. it is a wasted opportunity to make something of this one chance we have. i believe that human nature is kind, and generous, and understanding and very, very curious. we should not be afraid of living selfishly. to selfishly access our natures and live by the passions and desires that fuel them is not only glorious, but the only true way to perform acts of goodness, and greatness, and the only true way to live at all.
.to perceive that which we desire of ourselves and to follow it with passion. this is what i want to achieve with my life, in every moment that i am living it. to look back at the end of my life, whenever that may be, and to see that i had attempted to live this way: this - and nothing else - would be my success.
i'm back in melbourne. peace.
after 4 days of arid central australian nothingness, the fertile, undulating hills of victoria were a balm to my sore eyes.do not walk behind me, for i may not lead. do not walk ahead of me, for i may not follow. do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone. -Maharishi FFB
