mama josephine's medical clinic

so what exactly have i been doing since phuong abandoned me?

after languishing for some days on lake naivasha and being forced to endure the sounds of nightly exorcism 'practice' in the adjacent church, i was ultimately driven out by an inconvenient sleeping arrangement and into what i can only fathom was a brothel attached to a nightclub in the nearby slum town of naivasha (with unusually splendid views of the lake and nearby rubbish tip)


i managed to scale the summit of a volcanic crater (longonot) during a thunderstorm (making the experience that much sweeter), but to get home, i had to wait for some time flagging down potential transport vehicles in the rain on a nearby road, only to discover that one week earlier, in that location almost exactly, two american tourists had been shot in the head by bandits while parked on the side of the road.


i then undertook a journey of epic proportions: a bus to nakuru, matatu to kericho and then to kisii, another matatu to an un-named location at the side of the road where i was transferred into another van headed for homa bay, and from there an old bus down a dirt road to the frontier town of mbita. it was there, after taking off my shoes and running through shallow water, that i just managed to scramble aboard a long boat being pushed out into the waters of lake victoria. an hour or two later, i arrived on mfangano island - a remote part of kenya with no running water, no electricity, no cars and no good reason for a tourist to be there.


it was here on mfangano island that for one week, ondrej became a primary school teacher.

was it one of those amazingly positive, eye opening, life changing experiences? yes and no. yes in the sense that as a self-confessed experience junkie, my cup definitely ranneth over. no in the sense that one week later, i was pretty happy to jump back on the boat at the crack of dawn and get the fuck out of there.

every morning and afternoon, as i walked between my place and the school, younger kids would lie in wait, ambushing me as i passed and battling for the privelege of holding my hand. usually i had 3 on each side - a thumb or two fingers each - and though i have been known to publicly denounce children as 'sub-mammalian', i must admit that my little heart of stone did melt somewhat. alright fine - it gushed.


on one occasion, however, the children got out of hand and chased me right down the street and to the door of the cell where i lived, which i closed in their faces and cowered behind while they stood outside chanting what i could only imagine were words to the effect of 'little pig, little pig, let us in'. it was most disquietening.

lessons were quite difficult until i realised i was getting dumped with the dud class (number 7) all the time, and when i changed i had some really awesome teaching experiences.


the adults on the island were a mixed bag. though they were invariably super-friendly and went out of their way to make me feel welcome, the situation on the island is dire: abject poverty, wide-spread drug and alcohol abuse, and HIV rates among the highest in the country (38%), so i couldn't shake the feeling that at any one time i might be violently robbed (or else thrown into the nearest body of water and violently baptised).

i wasn't just a primary school teacher, however:


1) i can't deny my background, so it was with some pleasure that i skipped class on one day and went and saw patients at a local clinic. it was called mama josephine's (centre of excellence), and consisted of one room with a cupboard full of out-of-date, out-of-use medications. highlights included seeing malaria for the first time!

2) i helped concrete a floor of one of the classrooms at the school. highlights included putting my back out.


3) i attended a seventh-day adventist church service under an enormous tree on a saturday morning. for even the most hardy among you, you'd have to agree that i a five hour service is not just ad nauseum, but ad vomitareum. highlights included sitting on a hard wooden bench. in fact, i almost left after 4 hours secondary to genuine concerns about sustaining bilateral ischial tuberosity stress fractures. in layman's terms: i almost broke my arse.


i gradually made my way back to nakuru (basking for a few days in the gorgeous tea plantation-filled countryside around kericho on the way), and it is here that i will spend my last few days in kenya.


pic 1 - mama josephine's centre of excellence
pic 2 - longonot crater peak
pic 3 - washing on the shores of lake victoria (bilharzia)
pics 4, 5 + 6 - wolves in sheep's clothing
pic 7 - sorting the night's catch
pic 8 - dawn from mfangano
pics 9 + 10 - workers picking tea near kericho
pic 11 - just couldn't get enough of those tea fields!