hello ondřej!: just as bad as the rest of them

the conte de fée continues as ondrej leapfrogs his way to thailand via hong kong and back again for a well deserved 5 day holiday from his holiday. centre stage is the evil french frog protagonist gerard who plays with the innocent boy's heart, and also involved is the princess sarah, who comes to bask in the sun and share in the fun.

after a night in bangkok, the trio made their way to koh samet, a small beach-paradise in the gulf of siam, several hundred kilometres south east of the sprawling metropolis.

surely the pinnacle of human invention is the motorbike. what else combines function with so much fun? along the potholed, sandy and rocky roads of koh samet, i made a new discovery: why drive responsibly, when you can drive irresponsibly? shall we assume lotus position again? there's no other word for it people: i hooned. you know those annoying western tourists who burn around foreign countries on motos at top speed with those revolting self-satisfied 'i'm all that' expressions on their faces? well that was me baby: all the way.

we snorkeled, we swan, we hooned around on the motos, we lay on the beach drinking coconut milk, we oggled passers-by: we enjoyed. pad thai, banana pancakes and slurpees made up 90% of our diet. at one stage gerard and i stumbled onto what i can only imagine was a gay beach, replete with groups of thai boys draped in rainbow flags limp-wristedly jumping for joy in the sand infront of their camera-clicking comrades. i felt like i was in an allan hollinghurst novel. we swam out to a floating platform populated exlusively by gorgeous young males for some diving practice. every time i pulled myself up onto the boards, wet bathers clinging, it was a case of 'those aren't my eyes'. it was all very well and good, but before i knew it there was an unfortunate incident involving myself and three young thai boys with a penchant for wrestling, and i became quite permanently damaged.

there's something about thai society that is just better. perhaps it's the high level of inter-personal acceptance and mutual respect that sets it above the rest. nothing symbolises that better than the wai (palms held together infront of the head as a greeting). let's introduce it into australian society and see what happens. the wai, nightly dancing in the public spaces with the local grannies, mandatory cuddling on sunday afternoons, and unlimited supplies of white rabbit milk lollies. could there be a more comprehensive recipe for happiness? i've got it all worked out people: ondrej for president.

i'm back in hong kong for a few days before i meet up with mum in shanghai this weekend. can't wait. my life is being pushed and pulled in directions i wouldn't have thought possible only a fortnight ago. opportunities masquerading as magic doors are opening all the time, none closing, for me the question at the centre of all this confusion is: could this really be what life is like?