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| JP+O |
as pong and i were recently discussing, not everything goes on the blog; i have been wondering about what - if anything - i am willing to write about my three weeks in colombia. in the end, i´ve decided not to write much about it at all, just have a rant about a few other things that have been on my mind and pepper it with a colombian picture show. i will, however, summarise those three weeks with one sentence:
reality is even more sublime than fantasy. what do you reckon jp? hmmm...
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| day two: hiking out to tayrona national park |
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| day 2-4: camping at tayrona |
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| the wetland in front of our camping area |
i have been wondering about love and i have been wondering about non-heterosexuality. when jp and i were at the santa rosa thermal springs near manizales a few weeks ago, i watched as a woman in the hot bath opposite us gazed into her husband´s eyes, and then without thinking, leaned in and kissed him on the lips. she was so light, and so free. she was completely in the moment. she didn´t ask our permission, she didn´t look around to see who might be watching (angry parents who wouldn´t want their children exposed to such things at a young age), it didn´t even cross her mind that she might need to hide her love away for fear of provoking some sort of reaction. how could an expression of love be provocative? and yet one week earlier, when jp and i gazed into each other´s eyes on a caribbean beach and kissed, a whole group of people about 50 metres away started screaming and jeering at us. that was ok - we´re tough young men with thick skin - but the sad part of it is that even before the jeering, we were not light and carefree - we felt heavy and encumbered, but still determined to prove to ourselves that we could kiss each other in a situation that for the woman in the hot bath would have been a simple act of spontaneous love, laden with romance. come on, yes we can do this! but by the time we kissed, it was less about love and more about politics, and a battle to prove a point in the face of fear and an oppressive self-censorship. auto-censoring your love: a very gay art! i believe that this is the most unkindest cut of all.
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| days 4-6: free at last! camping solo on palomino beach |
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the view from our tent :) behind us was a tropical jungle,
with the snow-covered peaks of the nevada range visible above that.
does it get any better?! |
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an old man with a machete opens some coconuts
that we cut off the palm next to our tent :) |
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| torches along the beach on easter evening, right past our little tent :) |
arriving back in berlin and now in madrid, there are same-sex couples expressing natural intimacy all over the place. kissing, cuddling, holding hands: whathaveyou. the best part of it is that for these men and women (and i include myself among them), it is completely thoughtless. it is carefree, spontaneous, and natural. thank fucking god for western civilisation.
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| why drink one delicious juice when you can have two? |
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| the bus back from minca. we missed it and took motorbikes instead :) |
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| hummingbirds everywhere in minca: amazing creatures |
it wasn´t always this way. i remember in 2001 i was simply unable to walk down fitzroy street in broad daylight holding sibastian´s hand. and believe you me: the one thing i wanted to do more than anything else in the world at that moment was walk down fitzroy street in broad daylight holding sibastian´s hand. to be honest, that experience was a bit of a catalyst for me. i realised that something was deeply wrong with my own auto-censorship anxiety, and i started forcing myself to do things publicly. before long, forced political acts became carefree loving acts, and during the three years that g lived in melbourne, i can´t remember ever not holding his hand when i wanted to, and i can´t remember anyone ever staring at us when we did (or perhaps if people were staring, i simply didn´t notice or i didn´t care). life has changed in such a short period of time. we´ve evolved as individuals and we´ve evolved as a society. how wonderful it is to realise this.
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JP reckons i say ´go fuck yourself´ more than any
other phrase in english. this photo was therefore a must. |
so if everything´s so cozy for dykes and faggots in australia, it makes me ponder the question of gay marriage. i think we all know that it´s a given. even julia thinks it´s a given. i´m looking forward to it, and of course i support it 100% because i think laws should reflect the equality with which we regard, or at least aim to regard, other forms of love, and whilst these laws are driven by societal change, they drive societal change themselves.
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| santa rosa |
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| thermal springs at santa rosa |
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| my colombian piece :) <3 |
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| JP+O at santa rosa |
but another part of me wonders whether or not the hoo-haa about gay marriage hasn´t hijacked or at least derailed a more important push for sexual liberation. it is true that historically, marriage has been a union between a man and a woman, seemingly with the purpose of creating a family, with the intention being that this relationship will be life-long and monogamous.
and this is where i falter. why do we place such a high premium on long term relationships? why do we place such a high premium on monogamy? are these natural expressions of our human sexuality, or are they cultural prisons driven by the sexual repression that is the basis for judeo-christian society? and is it not possible that this enduring repression may be one of the most psychologically damaging aspects of modern day culture? with gay marriage, are we not just creating a sanitised, pseudo-heterosexual version of love that is pre-packaged and palatable for our sexually conservative societies? where is the sexual revolution?
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| nature park near manizales |
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| a gorgeous chrysalis |
i don´t want to dismiss long-term monogamous relationships. if you are in one: good luck to you. if you aspire to be in one: good luck to you. what i am saying is that i don´t think that this is the only form of love that we should be validating in our societies - it is not the only form of ´success´ in love. if you choose to love more than one person with honesty, either in a parallel or consecutive manner, then i don´t see how the value of this relationship could be less than that of one that is long term and monogamous. if you choose to love no-one at all then that´s fine too. your relationships and your love are there for you to choose and engage in freely, and should be a daily affirmation, regardless of how long you´ve been together. so yes, go and get married if you wish! perhaps one day i will too (despite everything i say about it). however, please don´t allow an internalised version of what society says is right and normal to overpower your own desire for happiness. marriage is not an end in itself, it is simply one of the many valid ways of expressing an enormous, personal, infinitely variable thing called love. let´s remember that, and get stuck into it :)
love to you all!
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| camping out near mondo nuevo |
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| dinner! |
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| my sleepy colombian |
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| my pussy juicy, my pussy clean |
15 comments:
Ondro, you had a beautiful holiday. The places you get to, I envy you and am very happy for you at the same time.
Your political diatribe?! “why do we place such a high premium on long term relationships?”What is the alternative to “long term relationship” regarding raising children (aka preservation of the species). A commune? Fun for some, responsibility for the meek who would inherit … . Or Huxley’s BNW? Hmmm.
I know that there will be no malice in your scathing reply, nor is it here. Go for it.
Love
Dad
hi dad,
i´m not suggesting that people should leave long term relationships that they are enjoying, nor that we should all start living in communes. what i am saying is that many forms of relationships and love already exist out there, and i´m putting my hand up in support of all of them. i don´t know what the evidence is, but i imagine that children raised in loving households are more stable than children raised in hating households. if i were a child considering my parents, i would think that a single mother is better than one who is constantly being beaten. a mother with two stable partners is better than one who lies and cheats on her single partner, and a mother who has a series of loving relationships is better than one who is stuck in a long, boring, unhappy and loveless one. children aren´t stupid, and they don´t get confused. they just see what´s around them and learn from it. if it´s love, i think they´re better off. if it´s violence, deceit, boredom or a simple lack of love and affection, i question whether they would be better off. what do you think?
marriage and the nuclear family structure is problematic, and my belief is that it was created as a way to enslave human sexuality, and to control women by making them male property. if people can engage in this structure and be happy, i´m excited about it. if they choose to engage in other social structures, i´m excited about that too.
the other issue: is preservation of the species a pressing concern? do we need to rush out and have more babies to maintain our species´ stranglehold on our planet´s resources, or is it possible that the world would be no better or no worse without us?
xb
in essence, dad, what i´m saying is this: let´s celebrate plurality.
Well, Mr. O-some, I would like to humbly express my viewpoint:
I agree with you on that our actions are very often deriving more from stereotypes embedded in our unconsciousness than from a sincere, true and deep impulse emerging from our Heart. The latter only seeks to free us from the bondage of conditioning.
I also share your idea that ceremonies and what they represent for humankind follow strict heterosexual models most of the time. However, like you, I too think that respecting every Being options and choices makes part of a healthy coexistence (or else we would contradict the principle of the pursuit of our innermost personal Happiness...)
I also wondered whether a political act such as kissing or showing affection in public actually is meaningful per se... Again, I think a polictical act per se is respectable though, without a deep cause, since reality is even more sublime than fantasy (citing your own words). Curiously both reality and fantasy, as well as thoughts and dreams, are made of the same thing: Energy. Then a political act, no matter its nature, is made of the same thing.
I have not been in favor of gay marriage. But I have melted when I see pro gay marriage videos and thinking of being in one makes me wonder if I ever would do; I have been a devoted supporter of monogamous relationships. But I have also been "unfaithful" a couple of times. All of this has led me to conclude that the more "adapted" and familiarised with changing nature, the more meaningful and the easier to be happy.
Recently, I have watched Lars von Trier's Melancholia, and I would like to add something else: The majority of human beings are much accustomed to avoiding the factual and evident advent of Death. We tend to get involved in very meticulous activities and thoughts that prevent us from assuming this factual part of Life itself. In my humble opinion, marriage is an example. Bride and broom (broom and broom, bride and bride) take solemn votes and even though they mention the word 'death', they are not very aware of what it really means.
Death is but the clear evidence of everchanging Love, and Life make part of it: Energy again, transforming constantly, not at all disappearing or being destroyed. Just evolving. We along with our relationships are made of the same thing.
Tvůj JP
Yes, agree with Tvuj. Whilst society has developed rituals that support long term relationships and child-rearing, there have always been a myriad of relationships tolerated - especially before the rise of the institution of marriage in the Victorian era (which peaked over WWII and is now in decline).
Don't get too hung about about Western values: remember it was only 70 years ago that Germany locked gays up and plastered pink triangles on their chests.
It's easy to be tolerant when everyone is wealthy, but in times of scarcity, people pick differences to decide worthiness to receive food, clothing and shelter.
I posted Justice Michael Kirby's speech from opening of Gay Games in 2002 as it mirrored some of your thoughts in terms of our duty as gay people to share the tolerance we have received from society (sometimes we can be more rigid than those we spurn).
Btw, loved the zest and the beauty of this post - true joy!
Stephen
heureux quoi ! xxx
querido jp, me encanta escuchar lo que dices...eres tan eloquente en tus tres idiomas... <3 <3 <3
pero lo que dices de la muerte...no estoy de acuerdo. segun yo, si, la muerte es una parte de la vida y peude ser algo de hermoso y lleno de amor, pero tambien es el fin, y por esta razon, tener un poco de miedo de la muerte y vivir mas intensamente (esta única vida!!!) peude embellecer tu vida...
"sometimes i hate you so much justine!"
me encantió esta peli tambien!
xxx
Tienes razón, Amadísimo Pan-O:
«Que nosotros vayamos decayendo y perdiéndonos se debe a que el mecanismo del mundo, en sí mismo, se basa en la decadencia y en la pérdida. Y nuestra existencia no es más que la silueta de este principio. El viento sopla. Podrá ser un viento violento que asole campos o una brisa agradable. Pero ambos irán perdiéndose, desapareciendo. El viento no tiene cuerpo. No es más que el término genérico del desplazamiento del aire. Tu aguzarás el oído. Entenderás la metáfora.»
Miluji Tě! <3
Tvůj JP
me gusta tanto que a ti te gusta esto libro y esto autor!!!
que quieres decir con lo que escribiste (o 'paraphrased')? porque para mi, mi vida se basa en el hecho de que nada es sino viento sin forma, y tenemos que dar a nuestras vidas la significación que queremos para vivir bien. esto es el secreto de felicidad.
fue nuestra aventura juntos en colombia un viento violento o una brisa agradable? tal vez las dos al mismo tiempo.
te amo
xxx
De nuevo, estoy de acuerdo contigo... tal vez las dos al mismo tiempo... esto es el secreto de la felicidad.
También te amo. ^_^
Tvůj JP
“que sea infinito mientras dure”
es triste que no puede ser infinito. pero el hecho de que todo es provisorio nos obliga de valorizar mucho mas las experiencias que estamos viviendo. sin embargo, me gustaría continuar mi vida contigo en colombia al mismo tiempo de que yo continuo mis estudios y trabajo en medicina en australia, las viajes en europa también...etc.
siento mas que nunca antes que estoy viviendo muchas vidas al mismo tiempo, y el ondrej que estuvo contigo ya no existe en la realidad de ahora - solamente en mi mente...y mi corazón. lo puedo sentir cuando pienso a ti, porque mi corazón late mas fuerte, pero al mismo tiempo, yo sé que esto ondrej no puede existir fuera de mi mente-corazón, y aunque podemos vernos otra vez, serán otros JPs and ondrejs quien se encuentran - un JP y un ondrej que no tienen nada que ver con nosotros. hmmm...no sé si puedo explicar lo que quiero decir. es que la vida cambia tan rápidamente que nada tiene suficiente tiempo para adquirir significación, y sin embargo, esta carencia de significación, o esas carencias, al fin y al cabo, son las solas cosas que forman una vida, y eso hecho es tan hermoso que quiero llorar por su belleza. también quiero llorar los ondrejs de antes, y sus vidas necesariamente perdidas para que el ondrej de hoy puede existir. entiendes mi sentido?
como podemos vivir de una manera que nos permite de chupar lo maximo de esta sola oportunidad?
xxx
"Y pude darme cuenta cuando me estaba pasando. Hay gente que vive toda una vida sin algo así. Creo que estoy contento.»
Creo que te entiendo. Efectiva e inevitable-mente, lo único permanente es el cambio.
Siento que la mejor manera de "honrar" el pasado, sin aferrarse a él, es ser conscientes de que, gracias a estas experiencias tan hermosas que hacen palpitar el Corazón más fuerte, estamos viviendo el Aquí-Ahora.
Según el JP más o menos reciente, en realidad ningún Ondřej ni el mismo JP existen... Son sólo las proyecciones actuales de corrientes de Conciencia, de Energía, que se han estado cruzando desde un pasado muy antiguo, y que se vuelven a cruzar ahora, y que quizás se volverán a cruzar ya sea en esta Vida o en otras, pues están hechas de lo mismo; de hecho, son lo mismo.
Lo puntos de intersección de estas corrientes (y muchas otras corrientes), para el JP actual, forman el fractal de la Existencia, el tejido que nos es revelado en el Eterno Presente y que nos permite apreciar el lienzo en el que está dibujado el Amor Absoluto, lienzo carente de significados conceptuales, pero rebosante de profunda belleza.
"how can the body or mind rest, when out there, life is so big?"
Con el Ondřej de aquel entonces y con el Ondřej que estoy leyendo, el JP actual ha estado aprendiendo que hay tanto por conocer y experimentar, que sólo podemos extraer la savia de esta única infinita oportunidad, AMANDO lo que Somos en el momento que sucede, y SIENDO cada vez más conscientes de ese AMOR que SOMOS, que ES dentro y fuera y que nos rodea y envuelve.
Como dice el Ho'ponopono: "Lo siento, por las memorias de dolor que comparto contigo; te pido perdón, por unir mi camino al Tuyo para sanar, te doy las gracias, porque has estado aquí para mí, y TE AMO por Ser quien Eres."
Sigue Amando, sigue siendo el incesante resultado de cambios de energía (una excelsa corriente espiritual), encarnado en tan maravilloso, hermoso y también cambiante Ondřej.
Miluji Tě!
Tvůj JP
@JP: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 !!!
Que historia tan bonita la de ustedes dos,estuve viendo las fotos y leyendo sus comentarios, y me quede pensando en muchas cosas,soy colombiano y mantengo una relación a distancia con alguien de hungría, paseamos igual que ustedes,la pasamos genial, pero no sabemos cuando nos volveremos a ver,aunque lo amo.
Saludos a ambos.
hola david,
gracias por tus comentarios! si...la verdad es que el encuentro entre jp y yo fue milagroso para mi...lleno de amor y felicidad, y todavía siento esto amor. sin embargo, supimos que no íbamos a poder continuar la relación, y tuvimos que decir adiós al cabo de mi tiempo en colombia. las relaciones a larga distancia? uf! yo no tengo la fuerza para hacerlo, y le respeto mucho si ustedes están haciéndolo!
me necesitaría el chico que amo en mis brazos! por lo tanto, aunque todavía estoy enamorado de jp, hemos pasado a otras cosas, siguiendo otras historias de amor con otras personas, compartiendo nuestras alegrías nuevas el uno con el otro...y nada puede disminuir lo que tuvimos y lo que tenemos todavía.
xxx
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