Day One - Dover Street to Broome

while melbourne was in the death throws of another short autumn, g and i got up at 4am and slipped out of town under the seal of darkness. why? for g+o's next adventure: road trip through the kimberley!

we'd hired a wicked 4WD camper online. i'm sure you've all seen the wicked campers around. judging by the image that they self-promote, we expected a run in with the body-slam culture of young english fuckwits drunk before lunchtime unable to engage with anyone beyond discussion of tits and pussy as they stumble around in a drug induced stupor.

our first impressions confirmed these suspicions. of the two staff at wicked campers broome, the aussie hadn't seen a bar of soap in years, was drunk and reeked of cheap alcohol (at 2 o'clock in the afternoon), and the english kid was just a cunt.

we headed to the famously beautiful cable beach for a dip and later returned to gaze at the sunset. despite the fact that our part of the beach was technically a nudist beach, it was jam packed with young and old sitting in their 4WDs parked on the sand, and trains of camels being led backwards and forwards as they buckled under the weight of fat white east-coast tourists. everyone, including the camels, was fully clothed.

i had heard the call of nature echoing from deep within my sigmoid colon in the carpark, and by the time we had wandered almost 1km down the nudist beach, surrounded only by sand and camels with not a toilet in sight, i knew that i was on borrowed time.

necessity is the mother of invention, so as things got dire, i clawed my way out of my clothes and threw myself into the waves. the camel riders thought that i was grinning because my bare arse was being lapped by the warm waters. they were half-right - but they were too blinded by the setting sun to see that i had reached a pinnacle of liberation and was doing a BP (dumping my waste in the ocean).

we weren't in the mood to cop a camping fee when we were so self-sufficient with our little camper, so we crept down an old dirt back road on the peninsula and had our first glorious night's sleep. join us for the next installation when the road trip begins!